It happened when I was 15 years old; I met a guy four years older than me who actually liked me back. I had dated another guy before, but this guy was different. My brothers didn’t like him, my sister did, and everyone in the neighborhood knew him, knew OF him, and respected him as the ‘leader’ of a pack. I don’t know if I was right in making this vow to God, but I had said that the first man who touched me, (yes, in THAT way) I would commit my life to him, physically.
Rom. 5:3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
He came into my life as a troubled man with much pain and tribulation following him; I saw this as my first ‘charge’ in my duty as a shepherd, the pursuit of helping to change people. He would be a challenge in my life, but after he touched me, I remembered the vow I made with God, and I committed to Vince. (not his real name. Changed because his story is not mine to tell)
1 Cor. 10:8 Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.
At sixteen, I became pregnant. It was the Spring of ‘82. What a shocker to the family, not the first and certainly not the last, but this was now a form of my rebellion. My father asked what I wanted to do with the child. As if there was a choice? I believe in LIFE, and so I CHOSE life, for what I sensed to be, my son.
My father assured me that my mother and him would stand behind me and if Vince was still around AFTER I had the baby, he would allow us to marry. I guess my Dad thought he’d bail, but nine months later as my son was born. The shock to us all came.
Deut. 28:37 And thou shalt become an astonishment, a proverb, and a byword, among all nations whither the LORD shall lead thee.
I don’t know about an astonishment to all nations but my family became aware of how strong my faith in Christ was at this time. You see, on November 27th I was told that my baby’s heartbeat had stopped. I would then have to carry him, dead, inside my womb for days (which seemed like months) and on December 2nd, he was STILL born, in the guiding light of Angels as they carried his spirit away. The doctor stood astonished, asking me, “Did you see that?”
How could I not see, the Light that emitted from me as Christopher entered the world of the living and I watched as the blessed Angels came to carry Christopher away.
Mark 5:42 And straightway the damsel arose, and walked; for she was of the age of twelve years. And they were astonished with a great astonishment.
I may not have been twelve, but I was still just a babe myself and I rose, to tell my family in the following days, that God is good and I loved my Lord and Savior more than anything for choosing ME, to lay this walk upon. Shock rippled through the family like a stone skipping across water.
“Aren’t you angry at God for taking your baby?” is what I heard a lot of and I only knew to say,
“No, Christopher is with Him now; a much better place than I could have ever given him. There is a reason for every single thing in life. God makes NO mistakes!”
As their faces looked on in shock, they saw a new wisdom reach forth from me, a spiritual force that they could neither grasp or understand. They sat in awe of my strength, as I sat in awe of My God. Seven months later, at the age of seventeen, I was married to Vince and I would begin the twenty years of service to the vow of commitment I made to Christ.
Neh 10 :29 They clave to their brethren, their nobles, and entered into a curse, and into an oath, to walk in God's law, which was given by Moses the servant of God, and to observe and do all the commandments of the LORD our Lord, and his judgments and his statutes;
Job 1: 16 While he was yet speaking, there came also another, and said, The fire of God is fallen from heaven, and hath burned up the sheep, and the servants, and consumed them; and I only am escaped alone to tell thee.
As many people are blessed with a loving, caring family whose life they were placed into and shaped them in some way, mine was to be my curse and my blessing. As God knew my path before I was born, carving me out of pieces of the stellar cosmos, and placing me right where He needed me to do His work; knowing full well that I would have the power within me to change me, people and the the world, one word at a time. Through my words, my testimony, my life story, I give you the truth that dwells in me, the life that was lain, and all glory to Him who created me.
Ps 109:28 Let them curse, but bless thou: when they arise, let them be ashamed; but let thy servant rejoice.
Job 12:13 With him is wisdom and strength, he hath counsel and understanding.
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